Saturday, May 29, 2010

That Mom trick of licking your finger and then wiping a smudge off your child’s face? Yeah. I’ve done that too.

You learn a new vocabulary when you become a parent.  Suddenly you live in a world where you use odd words like ‘onesie’ and ‘bouncer’, and can describe your kid’s poop with ten different adjectives and a straight face. 
Parenting a toddler also requires some linguistic modification.  Instead of new words, though, this new phase involves sentence construction through the apposition of words that I never thought I’d use together.
·         Is there pee on that towel?
·         Don’t be scared; flies are happy!
·         Underwear goes on first.
·         Bath water isn’t for drinking.
·         Take that bread off your foot.

1 comment:

Mom said...

Ian Frazier said it so well in his exposition "Laws Concerning Food and Drink; Household Principles; Lamentations of the Father": "Neither drink of your own bath water, nor of bath water of any kind; nor rub your feet on bread, even if it be in the package; nor rub yourself against cars, nor against any building; nor eat sand...lest you be cast into quiet time".